Now that I’ve refuted the melting of ice caps argument and owned you, let’s move on, shall we?

Another argument from the global warming pushers (that’s not the only thing they push, if you know what I mean) (…they’re gay) is that factory pollution is also bad for our ozone layer. Okay, so first you attack the long, round tailpipes from cars and now the immense, erect, brown smokestacks poking out from factories. And you say that these emissions are penetrating and hurting the delicate “ozone.” Are you gay or something? Nothing wrong with being gay, just keep your sexual preferences and your scientific arguments separate, alright? Thanks. If you don’t understand the symbolic imagery, double entendres, and homosexual leanings there, you’re not educated enough to even be arguing for one side or the other.

Global warming has become even more topical lately, and it’s all started with a fucking movie. Is that what it takes to get you liberals interested in anything? The concept of global warming has been around for a long time, but it takes a movie to get you Al-Gore-worshipping cunts active, at least on message boards and conversations with any passer-by who will listen at your family’s Thanksgiving get-together.

Just because Al Gore was almost president instead of the guy you love to hate, George W. Bush, doesn’t mean he’s going to change the world. Clearly, he missed his chance when he accepted the loss to George Bush. Fuck, I believe Al Gore won that election, too, fair and square, he’s just a pussy for not fighting more for the win. Shit, the claims about global warming that you take as gospel come from the guy who claimed to invent the internet! Some people still call him Vice President Gore. If you’re gonna do that, I assume you mean the vice president of spreading bullshit and lies.

In conclusion, I just owned you. You probably saw An Inconvenient Truth, wet your pants, and now cry wolf about global warming. You probably do the same thing every time you see a documentary. Same shit happened with 9/11's Loose Change, I’m sure. You people make me sicker than Michael Moore does. But only because there’s more of you than there are Michael Moores. Everyone’s pussies got all wet because of Fahrenheit 9/11, but not anyone who mattered. People of stature could see that Michael Moore probably eats all the time, is probably spoiled and whiny, and thus got annoyed with him. He ended up being more detrimental than beneficial to the liberal cause, ultimately costing John Kerry the election and giving us four more years of George W.

Anyway, back to the conclusion at hand: I have refuted every argument the global warmers throw at us good, God-fearing, hard-working individuals. The melting ice caps and the car and factory pollution claims ain’t got shit on fact, bitch. Fact beats scissors, paper, rock, and hippies. Lastly, I showed you that not only would I be more inclined to believe conspiracy theories from Arty the local neighborhood bum than Al Gore, but just because something’s in a documentary doesn’t mean it’s true.