If that got your attention, you’re probably a liberal. If that didn’t get your attention, you’re not reading this right now. So the only people who are still reading this are those who push the global warming myth. Those who can’t afford a car, so they attribute them to causing astronomical, absurd climate problems. Those who don’t take showers and smell like incense and sweat. Those who know all the answers to our problems, but can’t set down their 6-foot bong long enough to pick up a voting ballot or a job application. Global warming is the pussy’s way of whining, “I’m too hot, but it’s not my fault, it’s society’s fault.”

Instead of reaching for a fan, the hippies reach for an argument, coming up with a bogus term called “global warming.” Now, I could point to the recent blizzard our town just received and call that proof enough that global warming doesn’t exist. But I’m not some dumb, racist Blue Collar TV viewer, so I’m going to use hard, concrete, black…science.

First off, the melting of the polar ice caps is a supposedly “strong” piece of evidence that supports global warming. Let me throw a year out for you: 1914. Still don’t get it? Let me throw a ship out for you (like God did with this one): the Titanic. It ran into a floating iceberg! Ice has been melting since before we had cars. Ever left an ice cube tray out after using a couple cubes because you were too lazy to put it back? Notice that the next day, your hungover ass found that ice cube tray completely melted…in your air-conditioned home? Ice melts anywhere, in any condition, in any temperature (well, not in temperatures below freezing, but
whatevs).